


Regret

by Torra_Katze



Series: This Means War Interim [3]
Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
Genre: Dude I don't even know, How do I tag?, I haven't written a fanfic in literal years, Kinda sad?, M/M, Soundwave/Blaster - Freeform, nothing really major
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2020-01-06 14:25:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18390215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Torra_Katze/pseuds/Torra_Katze
Summary: Blaster doesn't like Soundwave's recent clandestine activities. He doesn't know how to deal with his Sparkmate pulling away from him.He does know, however, that if Soundwave keeps this up, Blaster won't have any choice but to go.





	Regret

**Author's Note:**

> So, this fic has been written for a long time. Years, in fact. I just never got around to posting it.
> 
> I lost a lot of motivation to write, but recently I spoke to a tattoo artist nearby who is willing (and able) to do my Transformers tattoo. It's kinda of brought up a lot of the reasons in my mind as to why I love TF so much. It's a big part of my childhood and I hold it very dear to my heart, especially the original '84-'85 cartoon/comics and the more recent IDW stuff. So I'm very excited and re-motivated to get back into the fandom, though I don't know how many people are left in it after all this time.
> 
> In any case, I hope I'll be able to finish the rest of these little one-shots, as well as the main story. It might still be very slow going, and I won't set a deadline for myself as that's probably the worst and most stressful thing I can't do at this point, but I still want to finish it, if only to say I did.
> 
>  
> 
> So, here it is, part 3 of the Interim Series: Blaster/Soundwave. Enjoy.

Blaster knew as soon as Soundwave got home that Megatron’s speech had made an impact on him. The orange Carrier hadn’t wanted his mate to go, saying such clandestine meetings were not going anywhere good. Civil unrest of the likes that Megatron was stirring up wasn’t ever a good thing, especially when the Senate was as corrupted and ruthless as theirs.

They were barely scraping by as it was, their symbionts—no matter how much they protested—couldn’t get jobs to help. According to most of the planet, they weren’t considered more than drones, therefore not worthy of pay. Carriers already weren’t well liked, due to most other Cybertronians viewing their bonds as slavery, despite all evidence to the contrary. It was only their uniquely incomparable skills that were keeping them their DJ-ing jobs down at the local club; they couldn’t afford to have Soundwave arrested for attending the illegal rallies.

“I wish ya wouldn’t go ta those thin’s, ‘Wave…” Blaster hugged himself, watching his bigger mate pleadingly, “I worry every time that ya are gonna end up on the news, gettin’ arrested… or worse…”

Steeljaw, feeling his master’s distress through their bond, wove reassuringly between Blaster’s pedes. Ravage, sitting primly on the couch, looked up at Soundwave first before joining the leonoid in the comforting.

Soundwave kept his position near the door, having just come in; a defensive position, Blaster noted despairingly. “Objective: Soundwave hopes to obtain a better life for mate and symbiotes. Statement: Megatron can bring us this. Observation: Megatron wishes for equality for all.  ‘Till All Are One’.”

“‘Wave, Sweetspark, please,” Blaster’s arms pushed forward, palms up beseechingly, “Please don’t cut yerself off from me! In times like these, ya are the only one I can trust, and it’s the same the otha way. Don’t block me out with that mask of yers. I’m beggin’ ya…”

Soundwave visibly hesitated in complying with his mate—his own _mate_ —before retracting the vocal-modulator and the red visor—recent additions that Blaster hated with all his Spark. Amber optics peered up warily from under the bigger mech’s short helm-cover. “I wish you would come with me to one of the gatherings. If you saw him in person; if you _heard_ his speeches up close like I have, you would understand why I believe so much that he could bring an end to the Senate’s reign. Sentinel is already so far gone; who knows how far he will go in the future. The rich get richer while we lesser mechs wallow in the filth of the slums.”

“ _Exactly_ , ‘Wave! Who knows what the Prime will do ta _stop_ ‘im!” Blaster’s Spark clenched when Soundwave looked away from him, “I don’t want ya hurt, Love. And I can feel in my Spark that somethin’ bad’s gonna come from that mech yer so obsessed wit’.”

“Blaster…”

“Don’t _Blaster_ me, ‘Wave! I _love_ ya; I have since I first laid optics on ya all those vorns ago, but there’s already somethin’ wrong! I trust ya wit’ my _Spark_ … but apparently ya don’ feel the same.” The orange mech stayed strong against the shock/pain/fear he felt coming from Soundwave, and the flinch from the bigger mech. Amber optics, for the first time in what felt like a very long time, met dark blue, incredulity and betrayal shining strongly. “We are Sparkbound, Primus dammit! But if ya won’t take what I say seriously, then I’m leaving.”

Soundwave choked, “Wha—Blaster, you cannot be serious!”

“I am, my main mech. I’m deadly serious. Ya obviously don’ trust me enough to listen ta what I have ta say, so obviously it’s too much for ya ta trust me in the same berth as ya. I’ll go stay with Jazz an’ Prowl, until ya come ta yer senses or I find a new place.” The silent _“if you don’t”_ was loud and clear to Soundwave.

“Steeljaw—”

“Will come wit’ me cuz I carry ‘im, as much as it pains me ta part ‘im an’ Ravage. ‘Wave, I won’t—I _will not_ —sit by an’ watch as bad goes to worse. I won’ sit by an’ watch ya destroy yerself. I love ya, I always have, I always will, but ya’re scarin’ me, an’ I hate feelin’ like all the love ya felt fer me before is drainin’ away.” Blaster picked up his symbiote, cradling the frightened leonoid, “I’m givin’ ya one more chance, my love. Promise me ya won’ go ta any more of those rallies, an’ I’ll stay right here.”

Soundwave felt as though his entire world was crashing down around his audials. In one servo, Blaster was his most beloved partner, his _mate_ ; but in the other was the possibility of a better future for all of them, a future where they wouldn’t have to worry whether they would go hungry that night so their symbionts could have a full tank. “Blaster, I…” the blue mech looked around helplessly, for once in his existence at a loss for words. “I… I cannot.” Finality colored the tone of his melodic voice, a death sentence to what hope the orange mech held, and Blaster felt the last piece of his Spark break. He knew Soundwave felt the pain by the way he recoiled violently away from the door, shrinking back in a way that was so unlike him, Blaster suddenly wondered how much his beloved mate had really changed… and how much he’d hidden from his bonded.

“I’m sorry, ‘Wave…” he said this, even as he stepped to the door. “I love ya. I want ya ta ‘member that, no matter what happens, I will _always love you._ ” And, just like that, Blaster exited their home for the final time (though he didn’t know it at that point), and slipped through Soundwave’s fingers like rust-sand.

The orange mech waited until he’d made it a way from the building and most of the way down the street before he shut down his side of their bond. He didn’t want to know what Soundwave was going to do; he didn’t want to hear the poison Megatron was using to corrupt his once proud mate.

An absolutely shattered keen resounded down the street. It took every bit of willpower and strength Blaster had to keep walking.

~*~*~

Not even a vorn later, Blaster sat stoically through the comm test he needed to take to get into the Autobot chain of command. Around him, his symbiotes scurried about, performing their own assigned tasks. Currently, they were being run through a simulation wherein communication and information retrieval was key. Blaster knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was going to get Senior Communications Officer; this wasn’t a boast, he was just that good, and he knew it. He also wasn’t saying the other candidates weren’t good, but he was better; seeing how he was literally built to do this sort of multitasking.

How else would he have been able to take care of multiple symbiotes without a great multitasking ability?

There was a blip on the vidscreen he was monitoring, a specific signal meant to indicate his station was being ‘hacked’ by the virtual Decepticon comm officer. Even as his Spark throbbed, he sent a shutdown sequence through the connection that would attack the simulated enemy system. He laughed silently to himself, knowing that such a weak attack as that wouldn’t even faze the real mech who controlled Decepticon communications and spy network with an iron fist.

Soundwave wasn’t a fool, as much as Blaster sometimes wished. The orange mech knew once the test was over and he was made officer, he was going to have to overhaul the Autobot’s network completely with his own codes and protocols, as well as several much more powerful firewalls and protective subroutines and virus guards. No doubt Soundwave has had the access codes for decaorns now and he was silently laughing while he watched the Autobots flounder to keep him out.

It was a good thing that as much as Soundwave’s overpoweringly analytical mind tore through network defenses like thin aluminum, Blaster’s more flexible approach was the perfect counter, finding ingenious, if unconventional, new ways to ground his attacks to an immediate halt. To Soundwave, he was unpredictable. If he wasn’t such a coward, he might’ve stepped forward with his knowledge of the big blue mech, but he feared that he would immediately lose all trust from the Autobots. They would throw him and his symbionts into the brig, use his knowledge to kill Soundwave, and come back to find him in his dying throes due to the Sparkbond. Or worse: they’d make _him_ kill Soundwave, which he wouldn’t ever be able to do, and then they’d definitely know and off him just to get rid of the thorn in their side. Neither option was a good one, so he just kept his trap shut and went up the command ladder the hard way.

This way, at least the Autobots would assume he had an affinity and wouldn’t question his methods too hard. The only other mechs who knew he was at all connected to Soundwave were Jazz and Prowl, and even they didn’t know the two had bonded—were still bonded. They hadn’t made a big deal of it, nor had they had a ceremony, which meant no paper trail, and Blaster wasn’t about to enlighten them.

Back to the situation at hand. In a series of quick, efficient strokes of the holoboard, as well as several well placed viruses, he signaled to Steeljaw to plug into the system and download the info they needed, Trojan horse style. The leonoid went in undetected while the viruses raged through the simulated system, and came back with the nonsense virtual data.

The simulation ended with a strident alarm. Rewind disconnected from one of the terminal ports where he’d been coding the viruses, jumping onto Blaster’s shoulder. Steeljaw stretched languorously, shuffling his armor.

 _You know he won’t be nearly as easy to defeat, right?_ Steely asked, making no indication to the silent conversation he’d just started with his master.

_I know… but we always were challengin’ each other. ‘S just another test._

Steeljaw’s skeptical glance portrayed every last ounce of disbelief he held in his small body, bringing forth a chuckle from the large orange mech.

“I didn’t say it was a good test, Steely.”

“Do you have a problem with my test, Autobot Blaster?”

The orange mech jumped, spinning around to come face to face with none other than Optimus Prime. Saluting hastily, he grinned, “Sorry, Sir. Didn’t hear ya there. We were talkin’ about somethin’ else, Sir. Promise.”

“Hmm…” The Prime said nothing more on the subject, and instead switched gears, “Your results were much farther above those of the other candidates. It’s clear you are well above average. So, I’d like to welcome you to your new position, Senior Communications Officer.” Optimus held out his servo, and Blaster gladly shook it. “Could you please inform me of what changes you’re going to be making? Obviously every comms mech has their preferences, and Output’s old codes are already useless.”

“Of course, Sir. Honestly, ya’re gonna need a complete overhaul. Ol’ Soundwave prolly already has all the old codes, an’ we don’ need ‘im ta snoop any more than he already manages.” Blaster declared.

Optimus’ brow-ridges rose in consideration, “You sound as if you have personal experience with Soundwave.”

Blaster nodded, “A li’l. We went ta the same Academy, for a bit, and we had similar jobs.” All true, with a little embellishment. “I’m gonna be completely truthful wit’ ya, Sir. He an’ I have a li’l history, but we split a long time ago, ‘fore he got in wit’ the ‘Cons. Ya can ask Jazz, he’ll verify everythin’. He an’ Prowl let me stay wit’ them fer a bit, after I left ‘im.”

Optimus hummed, “I appreciate the honesty. Jazz has in fact already confirmed all of this for me, but I am glad you came forth with the information yourself. This shows that I can trust you.”

Blaster felt a bit guilty at that statement, because he really wasn’t telling the whole story, but he didn’t let it deter him.

The time would come when Blaster would have to make a decision between his position, and his Sparkmate. He knew this implicitly.

He just hoped they could stay alive long enough to cross that bridge.


End file.
